Thursday, November 25, 2010

RAINBOW OF KITTENS flea.wpd.com

LONDON, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 27:  Kittens are see...Image by Getty Images via @daylife
A tiny small kitten of gray, played all night, then he slept through the day. His eyes were ignited when small mice were sighted, but they usually escaped in the hay.

A “Fraidey Cat” kitten of yellow, ate a spoonful of tuna with Jell-O. His brother Kareem bought a pink limousine.  A “Fat Cat” no doubt is more mellow.

A white cat with black spots on her back, said a rat was her favorite snack. She would hide in tall grass, till a rodent would pass, then toss him right into her sack.

There was once a stray kitten of brown, who meandered all over the town. One day in panic, depressively manic, she woke up in a hospital gown.

There was a soft playful kitten of white, who could see very well through the night. Her eyes lit the way, so that others could play, because, cats have incredible sight.

A lazy young kitten of red, could never quite roll out of bed. His mother was stern, and she said he must learn, to go to  sleep early instead.

A silver gray kitten with spots, cried aloud when the vet gave him shots. He growled and he hollered, till he finally was collared, now his tummy is tied up in knots.

A soft long-haired kitten with stripes, would often go hunting for snipes. As with many fine kittens, he had fuzzy white mittens, to wear while he handled hot pipes.

A sad little kitten of blue, came from Russia by way of Peru. He was somber and sad, ‘cause his English was bad.  Do you think that is why he’s so blue?

There was an envious kitten of green, who ate a bad smelling sardine. Once down in his tummy, it felt sort of funny!  I hope it won’t injure his spleen!

There was once a bright kitten of orange, who couldn’t rhyme so they just called him Lorange. The sweet clever fellow purrs softly and mellow.  His brother is simply called Jornge.

A black, brown and white cat is rare, especially with extra long hair! But one that I knew, found a fur ball to chew, now she tosses it into the air.

A brown and white brindle I know, slept outside in some very deep snow. He was chilled to the bone as he spoke on the phone, but he really had no place to go!

A fuzzy stray Manx from Duluth, bit a rat but he chipped off a tooth. So he turned and ran south with the rat in his mouth, though he did look a tad bit uncouth!   

A dark seal point from Siam, couldn’t dive, but I know that he swam. He climbed out of the water, to ask his young daughter, to bring  him some tuna and ham.

There’s a chocolate Siamese from the Bronx, who jay-walks when a motorist honks. He was nearly run over at Fifth Street and Dover, near some sleazy and loud honty-tonks.

There was a strange looking cat with no hair, who loved to sleep on a tapestry stair. One Saturday eve, his sharp claws caught my sleeve, and that gave us both a good scare!

A tan laid-back cat from the South, loved to sleep with a rat in his mouth! It was purely organic, but people would panic, and scream, “Get them out of our house!”

An amber feline crossed the line, her bad manners were hard to define. She often would purr when small rodents would stir, and then she would eat eight or nine! 

A striped kitten once had a wish, to eat tuna from her mother’s dish! The kitten was sad when the tuna got mad, but what should we expect from a fish?

A harlequin cat with a sheen, was an exceptionally clever feline. She had a pink nose, and sharp claws on her toes, and she was the neighborhood queen!

A black cat with nine lives found a hive, and is lucky to still be alive! Nearly sealing his fate, of nine lives, he lost eight!  Is that any way to survive?

A spotted cat started to sneeze, from pollen dust dropping from the trees. A sunglass disguise might protect his green eyes, but he caught a bad cold from the breeze

A tortoise shell brindle from Rome, once called the Basilica “Home!” She lived there all winter, had church mice for dinner, and never once answered her phone!

A silver gray Tabby named Nick, drank sodas until he got sick! He lived near a deli, so he had a full belly, and he was quit rapid and quick. 

There was once a big Tomcat named Pete, whose long tail would stretch into the street. On the Fourth of July, an old taxi drove by, now his tail hardly reaches his feet.

A tan longhaired Persian once said, “I would love to wear bows on my head!” She bought ribbons and clips and she painted her lips, and a kerchief she wore was bright red!

A slinky soft calico queen, made the Tomcats all whimper and scream! She walked with a wiggle, meowed with a giggle.  Her demeanor was rude and obscene!

The next time you see a stray cat, bow or curtsey or just tip your hat!  Act kind and be gentle, they are so temperamental.  And remember to never yell “SCAT!”


                 © Copyright 1996 by Gary Minkin,
P.O. Box 3515, Granada Hills CA, 91394
;  (818) 363-2211

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ABACUS ABA-CALC Ogrady.wpd.com

Alberto Coto with an abacus and his book "...Image via Wikipedia
One day a rather flabby cuss, learned how to use an AbacusSo now when he deducts or counts, he just might get the right amounts.

Little balls strung out on wires, will calculate your multipliers. Divide, subtract or you can add, to learn how much you think you had.

Batteries are non-essential, to figure out your exponential. Would you think it’s smart or cute, round up, round off, or square the root?

To learn just how these gadgets work, ask any old time market clerk. But now quite soon I’ll see you later.  I’m off to buy a calculator!

© Copyright 1996 and 2010 by Gary Minkin.  Property of Gary Minkin,
P.O. Box 3515, Granada Hills, CA 91394
; (818) 363-2211



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KITTENS by Addison Lily Simon

¿¿¿Really¿¿¿Image via Wikipedia
Kittens are so full of fun

So, let me find and catch you one.

And if you see a big fat cat,

Yours may someday look like that.

Kittens love to run and play,

Then chase their tails and run away.

Can you draw a  kitten's face?

Or animate a kitty race?

Kitty, Kitty! Time to rest,

That's when I like my kitten best!



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ALPHABET SOUP AND QUACKERS - Ogrady.wpd.com

In the picture an outcast Chamois (ca.3 weeks ...Image via Wikipedia
A DARLING DAINTY DOCILE DOE DEER?

Have you ever tried to eat a bowl of ALPHABET SOUP during an earthquake?
Well, let ME tell YOU; it is NOT easy!  AND IT IS SO VERY MESSY!!

Here’s what happened to me, last time I tried! And - Please; don’t laugh, because this is a VERY SAD STORY!

First, I got A big old A from my ALPHABET soup ATTACHED to my ADAM’S APPLE!

Then this BIG BEAUTIFUL B BELTED my BRAIN then BOUNCED BACK BEYOND my BROW!

A CAPITAL C CLIMBED CLEAR up and COLLIDED with my CHIN, COULDN'T you know?

A DARLING DAINTY DOCILE DOE DEER DEPARTED as I DUCKED, but a DELICIOUS DAMP D DANGLED DAINTILY DOWN my DIMPLE!

EEK!  ENERGETIC EARTHQUAKEN E’s ENGULFED my EAR and ELBOW; how EXCITING!

A FLAMBOYANT F FLEW FAR FASTENING FIRMLY to my FOREHEAD!

GOSH, I GOBBLED more soup and GOT a GREAT GOOEY GLOB of Gs on my GLASSES!

HOW did a HOT H HURL HIGH out of my HAND and HIT HARD on my HEAD?

INCIDENTALLY, I was IMMEDIATELY ILL, INGESTING the INEDIBLE I IN my INTERESTING soup!

A JIGGLING J JUST JUMPED and JOSTLED like JAM or JELLY on my JAW!

KLUNK and KERPLUNK; a KNOBBY K KICKED my KNUCKLE and KNOCKED my KNEE.

LOTS of LITTLE Ls LANGUISHED LAZILY on my LOWER LIP, LAP, LAPEL and LEG.

MIGHT a MAGIC M MEANDER MINDLESSLY to MESS up MY MILDLY MELLOW MIND?

NEAT! NOW a NASTY N NOODLE NERVOUSLY NUDGED my NUMB NOSE and my NECK!

OH, OH!  The ORNATE O is for “OPEN wide,” as I OBVIOUSLY swallowed the ONLY OFFICIAL ORDINARY OLD O!

And P? PERFECT! Let’s PAINLESSLY PONDER P. It's PROBABLY for PROTECTING my PALMS!

Q is when I QUICKLY QUIT eating and QUIETLY QUIVERED from the QUAKE.

A REALLY RADICAL RASPY R ROLLED RATHER RUDELY RIGHT down my RIBS!

A SLIMY S SLID SORT of SLOPPILY to my SHOULDER, then SETTLED on my STOMACH.

THE TERRIBLE TEMBLOR TOSSED TWO Ts from my TONGUE TO my TORSO TO my TUMMY.

UNCANNY! A USELESS U UPON my UNDERARM UP UNDER my UNDERSHIRT? UNCANNY!

VIOLA; a VERY VOLUPTUOUS V VAULTED to my VALUABLE VIOLET VELOUR VEST!

WHERE’S that W? In my WET WHITE WOOLEN WALLET? WOW! WILDLY WEIRD!

And X? EXcuse me, eXcept;  didn’t you eXpect eXquisitely eXclusive eXcellent eXagerations? 

Y? Do YOU know Y? I YODELED, YELLED and YAWNED for a YUMMY YELLOW Y!

And, Z?  It sounds ZANY, but I’m too ZONKED to even think about a ZESTY ZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!

© Copyright 1996and 2010  by Gary Minkin.  Property of Gary Minkin,
P.O. Box 3515, Granada Hills, CA 91394
; (818) 363-2211

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BALDERDASH

Mount Everest from Kalapatthar.Image via Wikipedia
There is a place called Balderdash, Where there’s no litter, junk or trash!                  

You won't see pushing, threats or noise, You’ll never hear an angry voice!
         
There’s no unhappy girls or boys,
No broken promises or toys.

There is no credit, checks or cash, no angry words in Balderdash!

From Everest to Timbuktu, Judge others by the things they do.

In Shangri-la, or Camelot, It’s how we act, not what we’ve got!

There’s never been a fight, you see, So does that mean there’s harmony?

Though Balderdash might be a myth, s
hould we all - not heed therewith?

But some might say “It's all a dream! It's not as nice as it might seem."

Though it’s not crowded, aux contraire! 

Because - there are no people there!
                     
© Copyright 1996 and 2010 by Gary Minkin,
P.O. Box 3515, Granada Hills CA, 91394
-  (818) 363-2211

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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

LADY GODIVA

Lady Godiva statue by John Thomas (1813 – 1862...Image via Wikipedia
 © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin

Miss Lady Godiva had lovely long hair,
That dusted the ground when she sat in a chair!

But she is most famous, and well known, of course;
For a legendary ride on her galloping horse!

She rode with stature, good posture and grace,
And without a lot more than a smile on her face!

She pranced her fine pony through villages near,
And impressed all the townsfolk with features so clear!

Then she stopped in to visit a doctor she knew,
‘Cause I have been told, she came down with the flu!

The morale of the story?  Dress warm and be cool!
Don’t entertain mischief, as a general rule!

Should you ever consider a similar ride,
You might want to confirm, you have nothing to hide!

And Gamblers Anonymous will tell you, of course,
Never place all your assets, on any one horse!





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GEORGIE PORGIE, THE REAL SKINNY

Georgie. Jardin aux environs de Tiflis.Image via Wikipedia
They say Georgie Porgie
Was kind of a tease,
But this subtle romantic,
Was with girls, ill at ease.

His favorite deserts were
sweet pudding and pie
And he always avoided
strong moonshine or rye.
     
His sole peccadillo
              Was hard to conceal
                         While he suffered from hiccups
                                    Before every meal.
                                     
He was bashful and nervous though freshly attired.
And a real nice boy who the kids all admired
    
He never kissed girls, he would not even try.
And his lack of attention would make the girls cry!

When Georgie was leaving, girls often would say,
                        “Come back, Georgie Porgie!  Please don’t run away!”

© Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin







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Sunday, September 26, 2010

BUMBLING BUMBLE BEE

A bumblebee. Photographed in Ireland. Probably...Image via Wikipedia © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary Minkin

A bumble bee, as black as coal,
lived in a hollow flagstaff pole.

The other bees all bumbled well,
but this one’s vocal chords would swell!

And when he tried his best to smile, his bumble wouldn’t quite beguile.

So he was sad as bees can be, incapable of harmony.

Until a rainbow did appear, its brilliant colors drew him near.

And at the end, guess what he found? Some precious nuggets on the  ground.

He found a pot of golden treasure, and he could spend it at his pleasure.

A brilliant thought flashed through his mind, some health insurance he should find.

His policy did really pay, for surgery that very day.

So now he bumbles to and fro, following where others go.

And he’s so happy, don’t you see?

                   He buzzez like a bumblebee!

UP THE HILL WITH JACK & JILL

Jack and Jill (nursery rhyme)Image via Wikipedia
© Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary Minkin

Jack and Jill seemed like a curious pair.
They hung out together, and went everywhere.

Even the time when jack climbed up the hill,
Right there behind him was sweet little Jill.

She was the fine local pail maker’s daughter.
Jack took her up hill to fetch fresh pails of water.

But hard times came pounding upon their front door.
Because dental impairments are so tough on the poor.

Like the time when Jack slipped and he stumbled down hill.
He got an outrageous high tooth repair bill!

‘Cause when Jack hit the bottom, he fractured his crown!
I guess that’s the berries for tumbling down.

And poor little Jill, so off balance with laughter,
She too slipped and fell, and she tumbled down after.

It is a sad story, and lesson of sorts,
Although they were injured, they seemed like good sports!

BLUE BOY & PINKY

William Wallace Denslow's illustrations for Li...Image via Wikipedia © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary Minkin

Little Bo Peep was a lovely bright child,
But she fell asleep and her sheep all went wild.

So she quickly placed a short classified ad,
"I’ve lost all my sheep and I’m so very sad!”

It was lucky for her that Little Boy Blue
Located her flock and knew just what to do.

So he quickly responded by cellular phone.
In no time at all, her lost sheep were back home!

She was elated to hear the good news!
So she donned a pink dress and her sky scrapper shoes!

They met at a diner near Hither and Yon.
Now those two nice kids are the talk of the town.

The morale of this story?
What’s NOT yours; RETURN!
Is that not a lesson, more people should learn?

And keep one eye open whenever you sleep.
‘Cause those who are careless, might lose more then sheep!
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FLIGHT IS FOR THE BIRDS

History of ballooningImage via Wikipedia
© Copyright 1998 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin


A man once thought that he could fly!
I wish you could have seen him try!

An aviation pioneer,
Before his time, but so sincere.

For years he tried to find the gift
Of flight through air, that currents lift!

To conquer gravity’s attraction, He built the most arcane contraption.

But his machine had flaws so slight, Though he believed that he was WRIGHT!

With massive wings and motored fan, This wayward dreamer ran and ran.

He almost cleared the pasture fence, With pickets sharp and so intense!

The last time that I saw this gent, He broke his leg, his fan was bent!

He showed amazing spunk and style, Though he could hardly crack a smile.

His flight of fancy did bequeath, A legacy of missing teeth!

As an engineer, he failed, Though flight eventually prevailed.

And I recall his parting words; That “Flight was simply for the birds!”
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KING OF THE STY

A close-up view of the massive head of a matur...Image via Wikipedia © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin

A pink alligator came slithering by,
with a pig in its mouth, and a twinkling eye!
A swaggering smirk crossed the old ‘gator’s face
but his pinkness I think was a bit out of place!

The pig had turned blue as it squirmed in its jaw,
so when the big ‘gator sneezed, can you guess what I saw?
That sent the pig sailing for more than a yard,
and he hit the ground running, though he landed quite hard.

The big ‘gator scrambled, got right on his tail.
the last time I saw them, they were running like heck!
when the noise and the dust had all settled back down,
I couldn’t find either, though I looked all around.

Then I heard on the news and I read in the papers,
the brave little pig pulled some gnarly capers.
He hid near a bush till the ‘gator passed near.
then he knocked him out cold with a frothy root beer!

The ‘gator was stunned and slid back to his lair,
and that little blue pig did a flip in the air.
Now he’s a big hero and king of the sty,
but still apprehensive when a gator slides by.

The moral of the story? Act nice and be sweet!
never bite into anything too big to eat,
Don’t bite off more than you think you can chew,
or you might learn too late, it ends up choking you!

And next time you see a pink ‘gator waltz by?
      Remember – they’ll bite in the wink of an eye!
               And, you'll never outrun one,
                        So don't even try!
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