Tuesday, September 28, 2010

LADY GODIVA

Lady Godiva statue by John Thomas (1813 – 1862...Image via Wikipedia
 © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin

Miss Lady Godiva had lovely long hair,
That dusted the ground when she sat in a chair!

But she is most famous, and well known, of course;
For a legendary ride on her galloping horse!

She rode with stature, good posture and grace,
And without a lot more than a smile on her face!

She pranced her fine pony through villages near,
And impressed all the townsfolk with features so clear!

Then she stopped in to visit a doctor she knew,
‘Cause I have been told, she came down with the flu!

The morale of the story?  Dress warm and be cool!
Don’t entertain mischief, as a general rule!

Should you ever consider a similar ride,
You might want to confirm, you have nothing to hide!

And Gamblers Anonymous will tell you, of course,
Never place all your assets, on any one horse!





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GEORGIE PORGIE, THE REAL SKINNY

Georgie. Jardin aux environs de Tiflis.Image via Wikipedia
They say Georgie Porgie
Was kind of a tease,
But this subtle romantic,
Was with girls, ill at ease.

His favorite deserts were
sweet pudding and pie
And he always avoided
strong moonshine or rye.
     
His sole peccadillo
              Was hard to conceal
                         While he suffered from hiccups
                                    Before every meal.
                                     
He was bashful and nervous though freshly attired.
And a real nice boy who the kids all admired
    
He never kissed girls, he would not even try.
And his lack of attention would make the girls cry!

When Georgie was leaving, girls often would say,
                        “Come back, Georgie Porgie!  Please don’t run away!”

© Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin







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Sunday, September 26, 2010

BUMBLING BUMBLE BEE

A bumblebee. Photographed in Ireland. Probably...Image via Wikipedia © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary Minkin

A bumble bee, as black as coal,
lived in a hollow flagstaff pole.

The other bees all bumbled well,
but this one’s vocal chords would swell!

And when he tried his best to smile, his bumble wouldn’t quite beguile.

So he was sad as bees can be, incapable of harmony.

Until a rainbow did appear, its brilliant colors drew him near.

And at the end, guess what he found? Some precious nuggets on the  ground.

He found a pot of golden treasure, and he could spend it at his pleasure.

A brilliant thought flashed through his mind, some health insurance he should find.

His policy did really pay, for surgery that very day.

So now he bumbles to and fro, following where others go.

And he’s so happy, don’t you see?

                   He buzzez like a bumblebee!

UP THE HILL WITH JACK & JILL

Jack and Jill (nursery rhyme)Image via Wikipedia
© Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary Minkin

Jack and Jill seemed like a curious pair.
They hung out together, and went everywhere.

Even the time when jack climbed up the hill,
Right there behind him was sweet little Jill.

She was the fine local pail maker’s daughter.
Jack took her up hill to fetch fresh pails of water.

But hard times came pounding upon their front door.
Because dental impairments are so tough on the poor.

Like the time when Jack slipped and he stumbled down hill.
He got an outrageous high tooth repair bill!

‘Cause when Jack hit the bottom, he fractured his crown!
I guess that’s the berries for tumbling down.

And poor little Jill, so off balance with laughter,
She too slipped and fell, and she tumbled down after.

It is a sad story, and lesson of sorts,
Although they were injured, they seemed like good sports!

BLUE BOY & PINKY

William Wallace Denslow's illustrations for Li...Image via Wikipedia © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary Minkin

Little Bo Peep was a lovely bright child,
But she fell asleep and her sheep all went wild.

So she quickly placed a short classified ad,
"I’ve lost all my sheep and I’m so very sad!”

It was lucky for her that Little Boy Blue
Located her flock and knew just what to do.

So he quickly responded by cellular phone.
In no time at all, her lost sheep were back home!

She was elated to hear the good news!
So she donned a pink dress and her sky scrapper shoes!

They met at a diner near Hither and Yon.
Now those two nice kids are the talk of the town.

The morale of this story?
What’s NOT yours; RETURN!
Is that not a lesson, more people should learn?

And keep one eye open whenever you sleep.
‘Cause those who are careless, might lose more then sheep!
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FLIGHT IS FOR THE BIRDS

History of ballooningImage via Wikipedia
© Copyright 1998 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin


A man once thought that he could fly!
I wish you could have seen him try!

An aviation pioneer,
Before his time, but so sincere.

For years he tried to find the gift
Of flight through air, that currents lift!

To conquer gravity’s attraction, He built the most arcane contraption.

But his machine had flaws so slight, Though he believed that he was WRIGHT!

With massive wings and motored fan, This wayward dreamer ran and ran.

He almost cleared the pasture fence, With pickets sharp and so intense!

The last time that I saw this gent, He broke his leg, his fan was bent!

He showed amazing spunk and style, Though he could hardly crack a smile.

His flight of fancy did bequeath, A legacy of missing teeth!

As an engineer, he failed, Though flight eventually prevailed.

And I recall his parting words; That “Flight was simply for the birds!”
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KING OF THE STY

A close-up view of the massive head of a matur...Image via Wikipedia © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin

A pink alligator came slithering by,
with a pig in its mouth, and a twinkling eye!
A swaggering smirk crossed the old ‘gator’s face
but his pinkness I think was a bit out of place!

The pig had turned blue as it squirmed in its jaw,
so when the big ‘gator sneezed, can you guess what I saw?
That sent the pig sailing for more than a yard,
and he hit the ground running, though he landed quite hard.

The big ‘gator scrambled, got right on his tail.
the last time I saw them, they were running like heck!
when the noise and the dust had all settled back down,
I couldn’t find either, though I looked all around.

Then I heard on the news and I read in the papers,
the brave little pig pulled some gnarly capers.
He hid near a bush till the ‘gator passed near.
then he knocked him out cold with a frothy root beer!

The ‘gator was stunned and slid back to his lair,
and that little blue pig did a flip in the air.
Now he’s a big hero and king of the sty,
but still apprehensive when a gator slides by.

The moral of the story? Act nice and be sweet!
never bite into anything too big to eat,
Don’t bite off more than you think you can chew,
or you might learn too late, it ends up choking you!

And next time you see a pink ‘gator waltz by?
      Remember – they’ll bite in the wink of an eye!
               And, you'll never outrun one,
                        So don't even try!
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MAD COW DISEASE

Lautrec la vache enragĂ©e (the mad cow) 1896Image via Wikipedia © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin

Mad cows are so hard to please, when we want milk, they give us cheese!
Could they be simply plagued by fleas? Or could they have some rare disease?

Mad cows should take some sound advice, just count to ten and do it twice!
‘Cause anger hurts and causes pain, so, keep your cool and use your brain!

Don't raise your voice, don’t stomp and yell, and don't you ring the Mad Cow’s Bell!
Mad cow, mad cow, count to ten, then don’t you dare get mad again!

Mad bulls are pathetic sights, whenever they get into fights!
They stomp and snort like wild boars, and end up facing matadors!

You can’t be happy when you’re vile! You can’t be bitter when you smile!
Happiness is friendship shared, while hostile souls are brain impaired!

So don’t get mad, just keep your cool, don’t let them kick you out of school!
Like mad cows, simply count to ten! Then wear your happy face again!
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EMPTY DUMPSTER

Humpty Dumpty and Alice. From Through the Look...Image via Wikipedia © Copyright 1996 & 2010 by Gary A. Minkin

Empty dumpster, out by the wall.
Empty Dumpster, climb in and fall!

With all of the garbage and all of the trash,
and smelly tin cans mixed with fireplace ash.

Children who play in that stinky old bin,
smell pretty bad from their toes to their chin.

Some children injure an arm or a leg
But poor Humpty Dumpty, was one scrambled  egg.

So an empty dumpster is not there for play,
'cause a big truck will grab it and haul you away.

And all your mom’s cousins, and all your dad’s friends,
might never be able to find you again!
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